Wishes come true for better or worse

December 12, 2018

Yet another rant of annoying co-workers

Co-workers can sometimes be the best and worst of your job on any given day.  In PEter's role it's fair to say this is a daily situation in which our unsung Hero has to find the courage and patience to not be destructive.

For a better visual and understanding I sat with PEter for a week, and found that the irritating noises and volume levels are excruciatingly painful to deal with.  Even worse he has made several please in writing and verbally to management and HR, but this echelon of guarded and self-absorbed mid to high level paying positions and managers only have deaf ears when asked to assist with a problem preventing productive work being done.  If only PEter had those deaf ears it could be a blessing for his career future.

So here is what exists.  Imagine you are sitting in the center of a circle and you are surrounded 15" out from your center by a metal and glass open cubicle that only runs four feet high.  "It's infuriating to have to list all the annoyances since many also come from not even directly attached to my cube", PEter says.  "Visualize this, the first and most annoying instances of people around me".  PEter is clearly beginning to increase his speech volume and hand signals are getting twitchier; the high level of irritation this must cause him and those around is extremely apparent to any general observer. PEter continues by explaining the primary "Noise Intruders" he calls them.  "Close your eyes and visualize these personalities sitting just within a few feet of you for 6-12 hours a day, also in the same ill-conceived cubicle environment.  The digital noise guy; the worker who finds that he needs all devices in his control to have annoying and varied sounds for all transactions. Such as email, calls, texts, IM.  Oh yeah, and also has the habit of leaving all devices at overly necessitated volumes and leaving said devices on his desk even when not there.  It's like in the current day we hear car alarms constantly and yet because they have become such nonsense and useless, no one even turns their head other than to scream how annoyed they are".  I feel bad for PEter and realize it's not fair that he has to be the one to quit or leave his job because of this.  He is absolutely more than capable of performing his current position at very high levels but the level of ignorance, distraction, and low level busy work has him chained to low production and low quality since he cannot get the focus he desires and needs to match his personality and obtain focus.

Here he has only discussed one individual but we see much more is coming.  In-bound now is the Medical cougher, hacker, clear your throat constantly guy. "Don't mis-understand  I'm not talking about the every couple hours someone coughs.  I'm certain this dude has a medical condition though I can't begin to imagine what it is, nor can I even understand how he is not in pain.  Throughout every day it's every couple of minutes quite literally that he is making some weird throat noise and follows with the clear your throat cough of sorts.  It's loud and it's constant and does not help much to drown out the digital noise guy. Well, I guess at least they are different sounds which do help white noise generators to work slightly better".

Whew he's just getting started.  I intently listen to him continue and already can feel my own fist and teeth clenching at what this must be like in person.  Perhaps if it was once in a while it could be tolerated a bit easier. However, I also know there is a noted disorder issue called Misophonia.  This is a very legitimate issue and sadly has many sound triggers, it also develops into rage within a person.  I'm personally concerned for PEter and where this is headed in the days, months, and years to continue if he does not get assistance from his employer.  Soon!

I'm just infuriated with the lack of importance that this company takes with issues that impact productivity and creative solutions.  They pour millions into R&D but give a shit about QA, I mean what kind of company prospers in that environment.  It's the disposable generation; rather than QA something for long term and customer satisfaction, they'd rather just release a new version or technology.  "Ok, where was I, Ugh!  Sorry, every time I start talking about this I get just intensely annoyed to the point I have to actual remember to breathe normally".  We have covered the Digital Noise Guy, The Throat Sufferer, now onto the Non English Speaking Laugher.  "Yeah" PEter goes on almost apologetically as he knows to most people they see this as trivial.  Not him.  For him this is a severe and chronic problem that obviously is going to be dealt with one way or another; I fear that we don't know in what direction though.

PEter talks about the Laughing guy.  This one's annoying because it's a person with an office that has a real door.  Imagine that, you can close your door to keep your personal shit personal.  Though it's clear they don't care.  We've done all our research and sincerely we don't have an issue with open environments, and it seems to work for a lot of people.  Collaborative and socially communicative environments have their place.  Unfortunate though is that issue for these locations that don't provide alternative environment or arrangements to those who need it is detrimental.  So he tells me the Laugher guy is often having social visits and laughs loudly.  Great for him that he is amused, "but picture this" PEter retorts.  "This guy is not necessarily an 'I live to Work' person, though we'll get into that one later'.  'He comes in on regular shift hours and is pretty consistently talking his alternate language to the Digital Noise Guy who sits in front of me.  It's just plain rude and I want to throw the hardback edition of War and Peace at his head!".  Rage is starting to make its ugly rearing in PEter's story.  The laughing guy will spend his work day with the office door open all day, which is less than three feet from PEter's chair.  He will socialize, laugh loudly and more than half of his speech is in some other language openly to the Digital Sound Guy.  Here now I understand why this one gets frustrating.  PEter explains that the Laugher then works quite late most evenings in nice solitude.  Meaning that once everyone leaves the office, he finally shuts his cake hole and actually works.  How do I know that?  Well when shadowing PEter I saw this on several occasions where PEter had to also stay late just to try and get something accomplished when all the noise variants have left the premises.  The fucking Laugher decides to use office hours for his social day where it surely irritates more than just our subject here.  To stay later after hours though is just insulting, why can't he just walk the walk like the rest of the damn Lemmings in the office building.

SO, are you still with me here.  We got the Non English Laugher who uses after hours’ time to work, the Digital Noise Guy that keeps everything on audible noises and has frequent instances setting it off, and the Throat Sufferer.  PEter laughs as I re-iterate what I'm hearing.  He tells me how he wishes that's where it stops.  To the despair and desperation of PEter it only continues.  Onto the old IBM386 Keyboard clacker guy.  This is another gem.  'The only thing that helps me tolerate this one even a little is that every time I see him I can't help but get an image in my head of the Alien from MIB who is the tall scraggy dude and lumbers around.  I pretend this is all not real... that is until he sits down and stars banging on those keys from his 1960's style keyboard.  You know the one's, they used to come only with those desktop PC's that had 80MGb hard drives and weighed about fifty pounds"  For whatever reason that's his choice of keyboard.  To probably help himself drown out that incessant click-clack, he also has a 70 desk clock radio sitting next to him.  I want to get up and yell at him, 'Hey Fuckhead, you’re in an open cubicle environment.  Take a look around you, all of us are wearing headphones, it's called respect for your fellow co-workers!".  He's not done explaining this guy.  Hmm, so he click clacks, listens to his radio (thankfully it's jazz at least so a bit easier and no bass thumping) and the cu-de-gras loves to argue with his teenage son on the phone.  It doesn't take much for anyone to realize he's not the type of father you want to have.  Loves to berate his child and argue in his 'adult' voice and must not care what all of us are thinking of him as he does this.  He never apologizes and it's not just an unusual occurrence.

PEter is getting annoyed even towards me it seems now as he has to relive the moments.  Let's take a break I tell him.  Going outside to try and find a non-populated or noise place is challenging from his work location but it's a much needed break at the moment.

We'll get back to the Co-workers after a break... Stay Tuned

The Invisibility Cloak

Ever feel like you are a bit invisible, yeah me too. This accounts for most days in the life of our PE (Pseudo Employee), we'll call him PEter.

Reminder: these stories are not being claimed as true or false, real or imagined, nor arguments, but over time will be shaped and molded as training exercises.

On most days PEter relunctantly does the morning routine and participates in the typical office politics of a large company.  It's really just a large set of numbers, each employee represents a +1 and a warm body in a seat.  Most everyone knows the stats by now of the wealth in America; the top 10% of the American population own 80% of the wealth... Well in PEter's corporate world it's 10% of the employment base that controls 80% of the decisions and changes.  If you are not actually IN the 10%, then you are just a warm expendable body.  Or are the PEters of the world expendable?

The answer is yes, absolutely, but here's where the experiment continues.  Try as you might, it takes some serious fucking up to get laid off or terminated in most companies these days.  So much focus on legality and palsying around everyone would rather just pay off the PEters of the world than have possible "bad" press.  Because managers are told on a semi-annual basis to reduce cost but do the same level of work without adding employees, they don't dare lose a +1 warm body since they know it's not possible to rehire in absence of a loss.  Not because of what that +1 can contribute but because each person they lose means less money received and as a result a smaller bonus pool (Hmm, and who do you think that bonus pool goes to.  Exactly!)  1 + 1 equals many.  Regardless of what those +1's do.

The most amusing part of this statistic is that the "PEter's" of the company actually don't even have to really turn their brain on nor be present physically to get counted.  The "padding" of employment numbers is more a tactic that companies like to use for prove their worth and strength. The typical manager in PEter's company is more concerned with self validation and preservation than anything else.  It's not all bad, they do put in some time to be managers and spend the major part of their workweeks in meeting to discuss actual agenda items, but it appears that really the meeting is just a forum of "Yes" men in front of their managers.  When that large steamy, stinky brown ball rolls down the hill (usually just minutes after the meeting of "Yes" men) that works goes into PEter's queue to validate the need for warm seats.  Some companies and Business units are mainly interested in hiring "meat" and not minds.

Yeah yeah it's all stats and numbers so let's give a better scenario vision for you to prove what I mean.  Last week PEter showed up about two hours past when the office dwellers had already been in their caves doing whatever it is they do.  In usual format he enters the building and passes a few other employees, walks to his cubicle and sits.  From car to cubicle nobody speaks a word and barely raises an eyebrow.  PEter sits in his chair long enough to get it warm, makes a couple of key clicks and office noises.  Everyone is still in the same stagnant position of heads down and headphones on (of which PEter is one of them).  A quick glance at the calendar shows no meeting today, at least none scheduled.. yet.  Now PEter has a choice to sit and stare at the screen scour some work issues of which the majority are non urgent and just busy work (validation)... or... move around a bit.  Anyways, PEter decides since he has made his obligatory on-site appearance, though most do not notice, he hops about to another location.  It's quite interesting to travel to other desks or locations in the company as he finds everything very bustling with activity but mostly like ants or worker bees.  Most people seem busy and are doing things but it's mostly done from habit or to satisfy the queen bee.  He is struck with dis-passion in how many people don't stop to realize what they are doing nor ask what he is doing.

a quick digression: The company he works in has come right out and said telecommuting is not allowed, and such activity is not authorized.  Yet they still advertise this to potential new recruits as a company benefit.  PEter has enlisted this inquiry to executive board levels and HR, yet the queries have gone un-answered as to more explanation.  Seems a bit wrong to post such mumbo if it's not really offered. confused?  so is our Pseudo Employee.

For the remainder of the day because everywhere he goes it seems all bees are just in reactionary mode, he decides to find a comfy chair with a window for a Walden Thoreau remainder of the day.  PEter punches his time card at the end of the day with not hours but minutes of actual work.    The take away from here was that whether he was in his cubicle or on the moon the exact same level of work happened.  Telecommuting rules be damned.

She said “Why don’t you just write about it!”

Though I’m only writing about this for the first time this is something that has become much more common-place, in fact to the point that I was even confused on what my value to the company was.  I’m not talking about what I can intelligently provide, but as a person. 

Many days\nights I would feel a mental haze as I stared at a computer screen, often wondering ‘why am I sitting here?  Is it just to keep the seat warm or to validate someone else’s promotions because they can claim “I have people, dammit!”.  One day after yet another small rant of letting out steam to my wife, she said “why don’t you just write about it”.  As I stared at my screen through the brain haze I thought well, why not.  After all, I know I can do so much more than my current profession of chair-sitting.  So here goes with some trepidation.  In the very least I feel like some of that devil pixy dust is being swatted away.  Heck, I may even feel inspired to start using my intelligent brain again for betterment of my job AND my life.

This is going to be a collection of experiences and hopefully enlightenment on my own career path, over time anyways.  The Best case scenario would be that after delving into these situations there will be a theoretical lesson, one on binding together and improving how companies filled with digital immigrant executives and managers should be building companies with digital natives.  I can see it now in my futuresque world… A company actually refining , respecting, and working toward a more binding and productively committed workforce.  A sort of practice what you preach method.